Are your attempts at making changes guaranteed to fail?

How to attempt making changes with much difficulty and agony and guarantee your failure as well? Well, it is actually quite easy. Just use any one of the steps bellow! No need to be picky. Any of the below recommendations will guarantee your failure.

1. Be absolutely unclear about the outcome or the result you want to produce. The more convoluted your vision of your outcome, the better.

2. Have little or no idea why you really want to make that resolution or change of yours. (You are not to even attempt thinking: What will it give me? How will it make me feel? Why do I want to do this in the first place?) This will singlehandedly sink the ship of your Goal on the spot.

3. Do not underestimate the power of: It is New Years, I am supposed to make a resolution,

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and I suppose I should lose some weight... You can’t prevent failure with such a grand intention. Promise!

 

4. Make your Goal seem impossible, by breaking it down into far too many, mostly imaginary, components. Yeah, make it look reaaaaaaaaaaal complicated.

5. Make your goal so

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large and overwhelming that you just can’t seem to figure out where to start tackling this monumental Goal of yours. (Ever enjoyed eating a whole pizza in one bite?!) No? Then you are in for a real treat. lOl

 

6. Go against your nature. Namely, if one of your top driving needs is significance, then choose a modest goal. Any Goal that will prevent you from ever standing in the limelight would do.

7. Don’t ask for help, because YOU are just too cool to ever need any help; EVER. Perhaps, you have even been thought since childhood not to impose on others. If so, then good for you. You are supposed to give and not take or ask. Yap, you are the kind of person who has been raised to be just a giver. What a life you must have. Loads of fun: Begrudgingly being the fertilizer so that the flowers grow. This brings me to the next good advice.

8. Secretly assume the role of a martyr and forcefully make it your identity and pass it on as an obligation to your children and generations to come. Believe me those significance driven people spot you like a hound dog and exploit you mercilessly, but then again that adds to your lovingly fostered identity as a martyr. It is your faith... It is written… Poor dear you. You just have to keep sitting in the dark.

9. Think in terms of “should” rather than I want to or it is HIGH TIME. I should lose weight, usually makes you more overweight. So, do not think in terms of: not another second of this, It is high time that I __________. Instead make excuses: oh, it is not so bad…(that’s right, you are only 50 pounds overweight and there are so many out there that are at least 100 pounds overweight)

10. Do not allow yourself to feel the pleasure of changing now or the pain of not changing now.

11. Tell yourself: I will get to it tomorrow. That is such a nifty trick. After all, tomorrow never comes, because any given day has a tomorrow. There is no exception to this rule, so you get to keep being a man or woman of your word. One Caveat: Don’t ever procrastinate on putting something off. That is a NO NO. I like to translate a poem by the German poet Goethe for you.

Tomorrow, tomorrow, oh please, just not today

That is what all the lazy people say

12. Try to reinvent the wheel rather than refining it, or fitting it to your needs.

13. Give yourself loads of hell for every effort that is thwarted rather than trying a different method, using a different tool or being resourceful in finding some leverage… Above all don’t listen to that idiot who said (I believe it must have been Thomas Edison or some other nincompoop like him): “Every wrong attempt discarded is another step forward”. This kind of philosophy is toxic to anyone who really wants to fail in producing any result and then blame all heaven and earth for it. It really takes the fun out of your failure because it might just prevent you from enjoying a whole bucket of ice cream or a whole bottle of wine in one single sitting… and then get to feel real bad about yourself later on. Get it?!?

14. Tell yourself: It can’t be done. No one else has done it. However, do attempt making the change halfheartedly anyway. That should keep you busy enough to prevent you from accidently achieving any other Goal. (God-forbid)

15. Give yourself an unreasonable deadline and put too much pressure on yourself. Yummm, Major Yum. Ice cream, cheesecake, chocolate, alcohol… Or any other clever trick you have for consoling yourself. And then? Well, then comes the time to account for your deeds. However, you can always delay feeling bad about yourself with another form of immediate gratification. Do not worry. They day for accounting will come…You do get to feel the agony I promised in the title of this article.

16. Compare yourself with others while you are going for your desired outcome. Make sure you notice how you do not measure up to others…and then? I believe I instructed you on that subject amply… wine, ice-cream, chocolate... I leave it to your own creativity.

17. Tell yourself, that you are too old or too young, that you lack the education, background, upbringing… Any disempowering belief would do. No need to be picky.

18. Have no vision of your future self, once the desired changes are supposedly made. If you accidently catch yourself doing so STOP! Having a compelling vision of your future self works like immediate gratification and you won’t get any ice-cream or…

19. Hang out with people who support your disempowering beliefs. Preferably, the kind of people who have little or no accomplishment under their belt and have no intention of acquiring any. They would welcome you to their club any day.

20. Have no well thought out action plan.

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You end up feeling as if you are hitting your head against the wall…Loads of agony here. lOl

 

21. Take forever to come up with an action plan. With that I mean: forever and ever

22. Believe that there is only one way to get what you want and that option is not available to you and cannot be fetched anyhow and anywhere.

23. Focus more on the problem rather than the solution. As a matter of fact, while you are at it: come up with some imaginary problems and then blow them out of proportion. Ouch! Time for ice cream…

24. Try to produce the results in a manner that is against your nature. For example: If you are a sprinter go at it like a Marathon runner. As a matter of fact if you are an amazingly great sprinter resolve to win the Boston Marathon! lOl

25. Reward yourself with something that is not good for you before you have even produced any result. After all, hey, you have made a resolution. Cheers!

26. Focus on the downside of not reaching your goal. This is not the same as No. 21 because No. 21 regards the path to reaching your Goal and here we are talking about not reaching your goal in spite of all your good efforts, which you have not even done yet). Visualize not having reached your goal. Feel the pain. Repeat the procedure and make it even worse every time… After all, you know the rewards of doing so: Ice Cream… lOl

27. Make sure you worry nonstop what others will think when you make your desired change(s). Particularly those who never produced anything and have been on the hamster-wheel all their life. They are not going to like it if you make it; they won’t even like to see you attempt it. They will go out of their way to prevent you from reaching your Goal. So do share you Goals with them. Next you hear something like: Oh come on, just one cookie will not make or break your diet. Have just one Cookie! After all, they did not get to make it, why on earth should you?!?

28. Believe that you are limited to very few choices in life. This is going back to disempowering believes. Here is a great one: Life is a bowl of cherries and all I get are the pits. My question to you is: Since you are getting all the pits, who is getting the good part? The fruit flies?!?

I Believe I have fulfilled the promise of the title to my article quite handsomely.

However, I don’t have

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the heart to just let you hang there. (I know the pain of some of my statements firsthand). Therefore, I am going to conclude with my translation of an ancient poem by a poet Named Saadi. (1)

 

Master, from whom have you learned such amazing virtue and courtesy and wisdom?
From the ill-mannered and those who lacked courtesy and wisdom; whatever I abhorred in their behavior, I shunned.

After all according to Saadi again:

The clouds, the wind, the moon, and the sun,

For your comfort, and at your behest, run;

They toil continuously for your satisfaction,

Should not you halt, monitor your action?

(1) http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Saadi_(poet)