So, you resolved to make a resolution…

Good for you. However, it does not hurt to bear in mind that about 98% of people who make a New Year's resolution never achieve the Goals they have set for the "New Year". Have you ever asked yourself why that is? Well, why not reverse those odds. Wouldn't that be cool? Are you ready? Well, I just assume you are and continue.

So, here comes the big question: What is it that you are trying to resolve by making your new year's resolution(s)? Have you even asked yourself that question? Are you doing it for yourself or for some other reason? What will it give you if you actually achieved your Goal? Will it make you jump with joy? does the thought of it excite you? How would you feel if the mission was accomplished? Will you be any happier or will your

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Mom or Dad or... be happier? This does not mean changing for the sake of your mom is a bad idea, providing it will make you feel like a better person for your own reasons and not your moms. For example; if you treat your mother with disrespect and she does not like it, then you might have many good reason to make some changes here. Some of them might be the following: It might be stressful

 

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for you to treat others with disrespect; you might as well be treating yourself with disrespect. Furthermore, if you care to have a better relationship with your mother, then by all means resolve to treat her with respect.

 

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Important Point: You need to know what making a change in your life will give you. Look for leverage: The stronger your reasons for change, the more likely that you find a way to succeed. Reasons to make a change matter more than your resolutions, because your reasons to do something spring from a desire to do something. Namely;You make a change to satisfy a reason/desire.

Let us get back to your resolutions for the New Year or otherwise. Again, "NOW" is always the best time to start. So, do you fully know why you want to make those changes? Are you using your mighty binocular vision to envision how you would feel if you achieved your Goal in the coming month or year or...? How much happier would you be? What would it do to your self esteem? What else could you do if you reached this goal or produced your desired outcome... Just imagine: How would your life be different if you truly invested in yourself and made your desired change(s) NOW?

I would like to treat you to a little bit of inspiration regarding TIME:

"Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone Else's life. Don't be trapped by dogma – which is living with the results of other people's thinking. Don't let the noise of other's opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary." - Steve Jobs

Time is your ultimate commodity. How you use your time will determine how your life will play out."-Kevin Hogan

Now, let us assume you know what you want and you know why you want it. You know what it will give you and how it will make you feel. You also know what it would not give you and how it would not make you feel. So, let us take a look at some of the obstacles that your fanciful mind will in all likelihood throw in your way once you intend to make a change in your life. First of all, rest assured that your mind will rebel against any changes that you intend to make. Comforting to know, isn't it? Second of all, beware that tomorrow never comes. Why? Because, at any given day, the next day is tomorrow. On the bright side, let me whisper in your ear: As far as I am concerned, there is no harm in being aware, that it is crucial and liberating to know that there is no need to justify one's goals to anyone, and this is including you yourself. Here it becomes very useful to have a life coach who does not judge you and is not focused on what is vain and what is not. We all might have a very hard time progressing until we have what our heart desires. Only when you have what you want do you know if you really want it. Then you can get yourself more of it or go for another Goal. I have met many people who are worried about appearing vain, loosing friends, not having the will power, not being cut out for the task anyway...and probably the worst of all: Who am I to even have this wish or desire?!!!

Short and sweet, the mind can be amazingly creative in finding reasons for not changing. That, coupled with all the people whom you have given the power to influence you in a direction that is not to your heart's desire, can totally paralyze you when it comes to taking action. However who is the master of this brain of yours after all?!!! You or all the people who raised you and were your pears or teachers...? Why not use that creative mind of yours in YOUR favor rather than trying to please everyone else or your own need for short term gratification and your brains need to run its shop as it is used to? Who is the boss here after all? You deserve the pride of knowing that you have made a true and committed decision and followed up on it with all your heart, your entire mind and all your might in spite of all the obstacles. Even if you do not reach your desired goal, just knowing that you have given it your best shot will be of great satisfaction to you. You always know if you have played your best game, just as any athlete does, irrelevant of win or lose. You will not be wondering in your rocking chair: what if...? You will know you lived life on your terms and not on any others and that can only bring you great satisfaction.

Let us take a different turn now. This time around I would like you to imagine the opposite of truly going for your Goal(s). Just imagine the subsequent failure and further subsequent demoralization of not reaching your desired Goal, only because you have not even tried hard enough. What would it coast you? What would that do to your self esteem? How would that loss of self esteem carry over into everything else you do? What else will you not be able to do, be or have if you did not set a committed Goal with a flexible but well thought out action plan? By the way, here is a cheat detector tool you can always trust: You always know if you made a committed decision to reach a Goal, because a committed decision to produce any result is always followed by a new action. So, if you do not see any new actions, you know that you have been trying to pull the wool over your own eyes. However, not just any new action will do. If you are committed to catch a pearl, you must venture into the ocean. After all; no fisherman will catch a pearl from a tiny brook that flows into a ditch! This is including, no matter how long and hard this fisherman indulges in that activity. Yes indeed, among other traits, courage is a must have when you make a change. I cannot tell you enough how scary change can be at times. Why do you think people who do not even like each other stay married for a life-time? Why is it that people stay in a job they dislike or even hate? There are many reasons why the brain rebels against change, but that is for another article. All you need to know for now is that the brain will rebel against change, so just be on the lookout and don't let it turn against you. In other words: Mind your shop and not the other way around.

Ok, let us assume you have made a committed decision to make a change or produce a certain result. You have full knowledge why you want to make those changes and what they will give you and how they will make you feel... You have even installed a private detective in your mind to catch your brain going back to the old way of acting or thinking... You have even been creative enough to have contingency plans... WOW! Then let me ask you this question: Whom or what have you enlisted for help or leverage? Do you find it really wise to just rely on yourself? Let us say you have a great plan to be 30 pounds lighter in 4 months. That is quite a challenge and you need all the leverage you can get. You have to teach your brain to think like a slim person and that is not easy. You can drop 10 pounds (mostly water) for a special event, but afterwards you will regain all of it back and then some. I believe you have heard that last sentence quite often already. I repeated it nevertheless, because you just can't hear it often enough.

Back to leverage: You do simply need all the leverage you can get your hand on when you want to make a change. Don't ever underestimate the power of leverage.

There are times that you have a grand enough reason to do something and you might just find yourself driven to do whatever it takes to get what your heart desires. For example: the pleasure of having a slim body far outweighs any pleasure that you may take in fattening food. Then the future becomes the present. With that I mean, you are immune to your version of immediate gratification which is eating fattening food. Let us say you fall in love with a very fit and trim person. Your chances of attracting a slim and fit person when you are 30 pounds overweight is the only slimness you will have. Now, if you are hell-bend on attracting the person you have fallen in love with, you have a great chance of losing those 30 pounds. That is major leverage. Should you fail to attract that person you might gain all the weight back unless of course you have fallen in love with your new wardrobe, healthy food and you are noticing that there are even better options available now that you look So Great. I can't say that enough, the more reasons and the more leverage you have to make a change the more likely you will succeed. So, be around slim people, learn to think like slime people, ask for help, research how others have done it and brainstorm for all the great things you will have once you make the desired change.

Back to the binocular vision (thanks to the frontal lobe) that only we humans are endowed with, we can envision the future. Imagine your ideal future now and frequently. Act like the person you want to be NOW! Stay away from people who will sabotage your efforts (I would call that anti-leverage). Get leverage by enlisting people who have done what you want to do. Hire a coach, a trainer, weight loss-coach... Enlist the help of your friends and family. Let

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them know what you want to do and ask them to support you. Stay away from people who do not support you until you made it (at least). Staying away does not mean abandoning family and friends. Just keep your ideas to yourself and go for your dreams. You are not out there to convince anyone that your goal is justifiable, so do not expose yourself to any unnecessary resistance. You have enough on your plate as it is when it comes to making changes.

 

Again, you do not need to justify what you want to others. You do not have to prove that what you want is a need and not a frivolity to anyone. I would like to paraphrase something from Dostoyevsky's-Notes from the underground-: "If we only had what we needed then a hen house would do. It would shelter us from all the elements of Nature. So why built a Mansion?" I would say, we would still live in a cave if we just settled for what we needed. I believe, there is no more need for me to elaborate on the merits of your wants, your aspirations, your dreams... Yes, by all means, evaluate the merits of your wants. Namely, do not spend more than you have. Instead consider earning more than what you have, so that you can spend it any which way you like.

Here is another nifty tool. Celebrate every step forward and stop beating yourself up for every step backward, otherwise one piece of chocolate leads to a whole chocolate bar because you need to console your poor dear self. Celebrate for not finishing that whole bar of chocolate even if you only leave one tiny piece of it left. Soon you will feel like a winner and act like a winner when it comes to your goals. You will be one of those few who actually see the fruits of their New Year's resolutions. CHEERS. You might even get addicted to making more resolutions. MORE CHEERS. Then you will be one of those shining examples of humanity that takes advantage of their God given gifts. You will be an inspiration to others. The Domino effect of your efforts will make the whole world more beautiful, exciting, inspiring and lovely.

Good Luck to all of you who read this. May you have a life that you love and are proud of.